Lily Allen turned to drugs in a desperate bid to lose weight while supporting Miley Cyrus on tour in 2014.
The two stars toured the world together on the Bangerz tour and Lily admits she put huge pressure on herself to shed the pounds because she felt Miley was "more attractive". Now healthy and sober, the Smile singer tells The Recovery podcast she turned to drink and drugs as her life spiralled out of control.
"About six months after my youngest was born we ran out of money and I had to go back out on the road again, but I was 14 stone and did not feel like a pop star at all," she said.
"I started taking a drug which is like speed to lose the weight and I got addicted to this drug because it made me feel invincible. And then I ended up on tour in America supporting Miley Cyrus... It was when she was doing Wrecking Ball - it was a highly sexualised tour. I had just spent the last three years pushing babies out. It couldn't have been less what I felt like...
"I was supporting this girl who was much younger and more attractive than I felt. I just started acting out in all manner of ways..."
Lily reveals she turned to drink and drugs, was unfaithful to her then-husband, Sam Cooper, and even contemplated taking heroin.
"I started cheating on my husband and I had always drunk alcohol to take the edge off the drugs...," she said. "I was thinking, 'I think I have got a drinking problem. And none of this acting out is working any more. Maybe I should try heroin... I had seen what happens to people who use heroin (and) when that thought popped into my head it was time to, you know, confront my demons. That was about five years ago."
After realising she had hit rock bottom, Lily decided to get help so she signed up for a 90-day recovery programme in a bid to get her life back on track. However, she soon returned to alcohol and her marriage fell apart.
"I did 90 meetings in 90 days and I got clean and at that time I wasn't really committed to the programme as a lifelong thing. I just wanted to get to six months so at least I know I can stop this when I need to," Lily adds.
"At six months I started drinking again and almost instantly I lost everything. I lost my marriage, I lost my house that I had worked 10 years to buy. My career started sinking. And I lost all my friends...
"I really felt that the world owed me stuff and I got the raw end of the deal. And that went on for another four years and then I ended up back in The Rooms (recovery centre) again."
She's now a regular at meetings and journals her thoughts and feelings so she can stay on top of her urges and stay sober - for her kids.
Lily has also found love again with Stranger Things actor David Harbour, who she wed last year.
